I have long been inquisitive about the subject of identity – what it is to want one, have one, lose one. The question seems to perpetually produce itself when we feel a rupture, a sense of not belonging, not fitting, yearning and seeking. Having lived many lives and discarded a number of costumes, my writing concerning the issues of identity are hugely informed by my long engagement with the writings of philosophers and poets, musicians and artists.
Notions of identity are fascinating. We all have identity even when attempting to escape such a notion. We have markers, categories, belongings. We seem to have a strong desire to belong to someone, something, and that the belonging will somehow secure us and help us to become stable and bigger than we actually are. The nature of the writing here is to articulate the philosophical, spiritual and critical notions that identity is no fixed entity.
Deeply informed by the writings from Zen Buddhism and European philosophy, the “I am” mode is precarious, deeply problematic and yet also creates a site for considerable striving. The absolute and necessary lack of a fixed identity makes our lives precarious, unstable, and sends a visceral insecurity through our blood that creates a constant and precious anxiety. This is our site of energy, freedom, and creativity. A creative constant birthing, gives rise to the tension held with our finite existence and moment to moment decay. I have died as many lives I have lived in my lifetime so far. One day I will leave for good.
Most of all, make no mistake that any sense we each have of “I” can only manifest because there is “you” and for that we are gifted because we are always, incessantly, inextricably bound to one another. You are a gift to any sense of me at all. And with that, I am a gift to you too.
A life full of gifts – wow!